This came in from Spencer as a comment on the original post:
I had a rude awakening today. I started a job hosting at Becco on 46th. After about an hour I realized that I need to get out at least three times as much to audition. the "what am I doing?" question is answered for me by saying...not enough. MORE AUDITIONS.
p.s. Thanks Caitlin B. helping me to come to this realization. :)
Yeah, auditioning is important because basically we’re gamblers. Our job is to get out there and audition, even though we don’t get paid to audition. And then, even when we do get the job sometimes we don’t get paid very well -- if at all. But the more we put it out there the better our odds are for getting work. And the more work we get the better our chances are of getting paying work.
In the meantime, you have to make money, so you go to Becco or wherever it is and you do your money gig. And then you’ll find a really kooky new kind of predicament (other than trying to pay your bills.)
It goes like this … you’re at work for the man making dough, and you have to get away for an audition here and there. So the man is cool at first, but as you get more and more auditions the man (and you) get more and more stressed about you not being at work doing your money job.
Now, sooner or later you’re going to have this problem if you don’t already. Believe it or not, this is the kind of problem you want to have. Because, basically, you can hunker down and focus on the coins (and there is NOTHING wrong with that let me assure you) or you can go through the daily upset of “how do I make this kind of life work.”
It usually involves scheduling stress, switching jobs and finding some angel to work for who totally gets it. It’s often chaos. But you didn’t sign up for the arts gig to punch a time clock, did you?
Honestly, I often dream about having a “normal” job. Of having a desk, maybe an office or a cube that I can decorate with photos of kittens, knowing where I’ll be from 9 to 5, and knowing that at the end of the day work is OVER. I dream of a life where even if I don’t make art that makes a difference, at least I know a regular paycheck is coming. And then I see myself being happy at my job for a week or two, then totally setting the entire place on fire.
Wish I could do it, not sure I can. Know what I mean?
3 comments:
haha.. perhaps sandra is not so much of an alter ego..
Ha Ha Miss Shaw -- you are correct!
i totally know what you mean by wanting to have a steady something for only a week or two then setting the place on fire. that's exactly how i'm working right now. i've been temping, and right now i'm on wall street. i feel like the actor who is anti-cubicle and DEFINITELY anti-wall street is screaming. :-p i've been here for only a few days now, and it's kind of a reaffirming experience: i've been reaffirming in my mind that this is DEFINITELY not what i want to end up doing, so i better get my butt in gear and do some auditioning.
thanks for putting the blog up! i've been trying to comment before this, but this is the first one that's worked. :-)
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