The Kind of Problem You Want to Have

This came in from Spencer as a comment on the original post:

I had a rude awakening today. I started a job hosting at Becco on 46th. After about an hour I realized that I need to get out at least three times as much to audition. the "what am I doing?" question is answered for me by saying...not enough. MORE AUDITIONS.
p.s. Thanks Caitlin B. helping me to come to this realization. :)

Yeah, auditioning is important because basically we’re gamblers. Our job is to get out there and audition, even though we don’t get paid to audition. And then, even when we do get the job sometimes we don’t get paid very well -- if at all. But the more we put it out there the better our odds are for getting work. And the more work we get the better our chances are of getting paying work.

In the meantime, you have to make money, so you go to Becco or wherever it is and you do your money gig. And then you’ll find a really kooky new kind of predicament (other than trying to pay your bills.)

It goes like this … you’re at work for the man making dough, and you have to get away for an audition here and there. So the man is cool at first, but as you get more and more auditions the man (and you) get more and more stressed about you not being at work doing your money job.

Now, sooner or later you’re going to have this problem if you don’t already. Believe it or not, this is the kind of problem you want to have. Because, basically, you can hunker down and focus on the coins (and there is NOTHING wrong with that let me assure you) or you can go through the daily upset of “how do I make this kind of life work.”

It usually involves scheduling stress, switching jobs and finding some angel to work for who totally gets it. It’s often chaos. But you didn’t sign up for the arts gig to punch a time clock, did you?

Honestly, I often dream about having a “normal” job. Of having a desk, maybe an office or a cube that I can decorate with photos of kittens, knowing where I’ll be from 9 to 5, and knowing that at the end of the day work is OVER. I dream of a life where even if I don’t make art that makes a difference, at least I know a regular paycheck is coming. And then I see myself being happy at my job for a week or two, then totally setting the entire place on fire.

Wish I could do it, not sure I can. Know what I mean?

I Hear You!

OK, I can't believe how many of you responded so quickly! Great comments -- they're all really pertinent, so let's start with this one and I'll tackle more as soon. Here we go:

My new question that comes up every day is, WHY DON'T CASTING DIRECTORS HAVE ANY IMAGINATION!? The roles that I know I'm right for I'm not even being considered for.. As soon as I walk in the door I'm being put into the "showgirl" category. Which is all fine and dandy.. Just not what I'm good at. And not what I want to be seen as. I consider myself to be an average height, but with heels on I look like a giant. But they WANT to see girls in skirts and heels, right? AAAH! such a dilemna shouldn't be a dilemna.

Um. Yeah. You're thinking, "Boneheads," right? But nice boneheads who are just trying to do their job. Keep in mind you're just starting to get out there and these folks don't know you yet-- so they take one look at a pretty young woman who sings and has great gams and they think "I FOUND A HOT NEW SHOWGIRL!" Well, I know you, I know you're smart and funny and sharp as a tack and probably not a showgirl deep inside. If you can, try and enjoy being pretty and leggy enough to be a showgirl. Have faith that as you get to know these casting directors and they get to know you, they will start to see more of what you do. In the meantime, get good at faking the showgirl thing. Lots of biggies started out as showgirls, lots of my brilliant friends get work ($$$) as showgirls and honey, showgirl doesn't last forever. (Unless you're in Vegas and that's a whole different kind of thing.)

Also, casting directors have a different kind of imagination than we do. Just as we think, "Cheese and crackers why don't they see me the way I want to be seen ..." they are thinking, "Those nutty actors, why do they always want to be someone they're not?!" It takes time for them to see who we really are and what we can really do. They are going off first impressions and stereotypes when they don't know you. The important thing is to stick with it, keep auditioning and keep develop relationships with those casting directors.

Rock on.

Here We Go

Hey everybody! Here it is, finally, a blog just for us. For our questions, comments and observations. Here's a question I'm asking myself a lot lately -- what am I doing?! Not that I'm having a bad time, or that I don't enjoy my job, but do you ever get that feeling?

I've been doing commercials and teaching a little at AMDA, and I'm acting in a New School grad student production of No Exit. All good stuff. But sometimes, when I'm going over my lines trying to get them down and into my heart and let the words work their voodoo, I wonder what the heck I'm doing. Why would I want to play someone condemned to hell? (An existential hell to boot.) It's like I latched onto some idea of how cool the play is and how I've always wanted to play Inez and how she's hopeless and funny and pathetic and predatory all at the same time -- and then at midnight when the words don't stick I find myself thinking I'm a little nuts. Suddenly I'm doing the work and it's not as much fun as the idea. Been there?

OK all of you. I hope you participate here. Send in your questions, comments and observations and get in touch.

Also, when you get a chance check out www.sandraoday.blogspot.com. Sandra is an ex-con, motivational speaker with anger management problems. She's my alter ego, and writing that blog is starting to feel like I'm screaming into a well.

Rock on.